She's Smiling More

SHE'S SMILING MORE

We are nearing the 5 year mark. At this point, we have gone through 5 years of concentrated efforts, prayer, forgiveness, moving forward, facing points that trigger instant memories and pain to emerge, emotional ups and downs and everything in between. 

Nearly 5 years since I confessed to EVERYTHING I'd ever done in secret. 

Nearly 5 years since I filed for divorce.

Nearly 5 years since I shattered my wife to the core with the devastating news that I'd been unfaithful more than once.

Nearly 5 years since I told my wife not to pray for me because there was "No way my heart would change."

Nearly 5 years since I ripped up the divorce papers and vowed never to use that word in our marriage again.

Nearly 5 years since I asked for forgiveness and we began to rebuild our broken relationship.

Many years ago, I used to pray and ask God to make my wife into someone who was interested in Him more - someone who prays - someone who wants to read the Bible with me - someone to partner with me, keeping Christ Jesus at the center of our relationship. Of course I resented that when I was living out my sinful choices.

Recently (meaning since the point we began to work towards restoration), my prayer had been for her to heal. I would ask that God would soften her heart from all of the hurt I caused. 

Both prayers were answered. During the worst moments of our marriage - the darkest hours - she became a pillar of faith. She embraced me the way that Jesus would embrace any sinner confessing and repenting. She prayed like a warrior for my heart to change. She prayed for the redemption of my soul.

The second prayer has been answered over the last year or so. She has become lighthearted. She smiles more and more. Her laughter lightens the burden from my shoulders. I love to see her stepping out of her shell again. The silliness and love for life has returned to the spirit of my sweetheart. Her laughter and smile are infectious and so incredibly beautiful.

I look back with shame into the darkened hallways of my past, but I remember to keep my eyes fixated on my Rock and my Redeemer, Christ Jesus. In Him, all hope is found (Ephesians 2:8-10; 2 Corinthians 4:16-18). Everything can be restored. Everything can be made new (Revelation 21:5). 

Moses (the author attributed to Deuteronomy) was writing to the people of Israel, reminding them to keep their covenant with God. I can relate to the sentiment contained in the following words -

When you and your children return to the LORD your God and obey him with all your heart and with all your soul according to everything I command you today, then the LORD your God will restore your fortunes and have compassion on you and gather you again from all the nations where he scattered you. Even if you have been banished to the most distant land under the heavens, from there the LORD your God will gather you and bring you back. He will bring you back to the land that belonged to your ancestors, and you will take possession of it. He will make you more prosperous and numerous than your ancestors. The LORD your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love him with all of your heart and with all of your soul, and live.

Deuteronomy 30:2-6

My wife and I, as a covenantally-connected couple, in unity, returned to God. We aren't rich by a long shot, but the fortune and blessing of a wonderful marriage has been restored. We were scattered and now we are unified. I metaphorically banished my wife - I too wandered in the distant lands away from God's grace, but He has gathered us back together and now we LIVE, we THRIVE with absolute joy. I am not saying that life is easy. We still face the daily challenges of living in a sinful and broken world, but we face it together.

I wanted to share this post as a beacon of encouragement to those who might think their situation is hopeless.

Do You Believe?

 

 

I Believe...

I believe in the power of inner transformation. I was driving an immovable wedge through the heart of my family. I was the conduit of destruction in my home. I allowed sin to penetrate deep into my heart and mind, which clouded my judgment, my contentment and my desire to follow God's will in my life. Romans 8:5-7 says, Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires...The mind governed by the flesh is death...[and] is hostile to God; it does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so (NIV).

I was opposed to anything remotely associated with God; church, prayer, resisting temptation, reading the Bible...

If you've read other entries on my blog, you will be somewhat familiar with my journey. It didn't happen overnight, but the transformation of my heart and mind did eventually take place.

Here we are, nearly 5 years after the worst moment in our marriage and I am so deeply in love with my wife. This is the same woman that I believed I would never love like I was supposed to. This is the same woman I said terrible things to. This is the same woman I chose to file divorce papers against.

If this is the first entry you've read here, these words summarize our journey:
SIN     PAIN     LUST     ADULTERY     ANGUISH     STRIFE     TEARS     REGRET     GRACE     FORGIVENESS     MATURITY     RESTORATION     JOY     PEACE

Our journey is not over. But without the underlying power of Jesus, we would not have made it this far.

What is this power you speak of?

The Bible says, if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you. Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation - but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live. For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. (Romans 8:11-14). 

You see, there are two powers at work in the world. There is the power of God/Jesus/The Holy Spirit and there is the power of satan/sin/death. You have the choice to follow and obey either one, but there is no middle ground. You must choose one or the other. 

I was living according to my flesh. I was following the path of self-worship, idolatry, lust, greed, self-destruction and death. I took a turn for destruction when I ignored God's plan for my life. Some people ask, "How could God allow this to happen?" Because we all have free will. We all have the option to choose between right or wrong, life or death, sinful or holy decisions. God's plan is to redeem and to restore. 

You might be in the midst of the storm right now. You might be on the brink of making that heart-wrenching discovery that your spouse is cheating. As horrid as it feels right now in your situation, please take heart. There is hope. Our story is a living testament to that.

In the same way the prophet Zechariah spoke these words to Zerubbabel, governor in a province of Judah, they are applicable in your situation as well, Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the LORD Almighty (Zechariah 4:6). We cannot stand alone in our own strength to face terrible situations, but by the power of God we can.

The Idolatry of an Affair

Gold is beautiful, isn't it? The idol pictured above certainly is beautiful. It is attractive to the eyes. It is interesting and mysterious. However, at its core, it is empty. This idol can provide nothing for your life that satisfies.

What about these?

Did you ever consider things like these to be idols? Aren't they the things everyone wants? Why? What is it about these things that would actually make our lives feel complete?

The Bible is clear that we are to put nothing before God. Anything that we put our hope in or deeply desire as if it will bring us satisfaction are things that become idols in our hearts.

The Bible tells us to Trust in the Lord with all of our hearts, leaning not on our own understanding, acknowledging Him in all of our ways, and He will direct our path (Proverbs 3:5-6). But when we see things that attract us, causing a deep desire as if it will bring inner satisfaction - leading to a dissatisfaction when we don't have it - that is idolatry.

The Apostle Paul writes to the church in Philippi about being content in every situation (Philippians 4:10-18) because, "God will meet all your needs" (Philippians 4:19).

This directly applies to affairs, infidelity, adultery, and lust. We lust, which according to Webster means, "intense longing," for things we believe will bring us contentment and satisfaction. 

People lust after careers, houses, property, vehicles, fame, food, travel, entertainment, relationships...and the list goes on and on. Sometimes people get married, believing that their spouse will bring them contentment and satisfaction. 

THE TRUTH IS: TRUE CONTENTMENT AND SATISFACTION CAN ONLY BE FOUND IN GOD

When a person is lacking in validation, fulfillment in their relationship, sexual gratification in their marriage, or any number of other areas, they believe that someone else can fill the void. They believe the LIE that an outside physical relationship with someone else will finally bring the satisfaction they have been seeking.

That causes their thoughts to wander. Then their eyes wander. Then they begin to act out on their desires by flirting. Then it leads to an affair. 

This goes directly against God's plan for our marriages. One man and one woman comprise the holy union of husband and wife - together they are one flesh (Genesis 2:24; Mark 10:8) designed to grow together in their relationship with God and with each other. 

When someone seeks an outside relationship, they have succumb to idolatry. They have made the decision to forego contentment. They have decided to place their hope and trust in an ungodly physical relationship as if it could ever truly satisfy. 

The end result is ALWAYS destruction. Destruction of trust. Destruction of multiple relationships (with their spouse, their kids, the person they've engaged in the affair with, their friends, their family, their colleagues, their neighbors). Destruction of learning to be content. If repentance doesn't happen, the cycle will continue. They will seek out a new relationship to cover up the mess they've already made...as if a new idol could ever heal, mend, and restore.

That is precisely what I did in my life. I sought out the idol of sexual relationships to bring contentment and meaning to my broken life. I avoided the One True God - the ONLY ONE who could ever satisfy, heal, restore, and mend the brokenness I had on the inside. 

I stand here today with my marriage fully restored to testify and speak out against the lies our culture tells us. Our media sends explicit sexual permission to our homes through movies, TV shows, advertisements and talk shows designed to desensitize us towards the dangers of lust and self-gratification. 

I pray that you will avoid the idols that fight for your attention. I pray that you will turn to God as the only one who can bring true contentment and satisfaction in your heart, mind, and soul.   

Filled With Regrets

I'm Hurting Right Now

The feelings I share here are real.

I am transparent with the details I've spilled out on the pages of the internet.

The purpose of this blog is to give hope to those who might think their marriage is destined to end because of infidelity. 

I point readers to God's redemptive truth as revealed in the Bible and in the life and ministry of Jesus Christ.

I don't want to paint an image that masks the harsh realities. I talked a little bit about some of the difficulties in my post, "It Won't Be An Easy Fix."

You see, while I am now so deeply in love with my wife, I painfully ache on the inside. Sometimes, a substantial weight sits steadily on my chest. It feels real. It's not a metaphorical weight. 

I look back at my entire life and feel so ashamed. I know almost everyone thinks about their past mistakes and poor choices with regret, but this is killing me right now.

Here is a partial list of things that are haunting me as I write:

-giving up my virginity at age 12

-taking drugs to escape the pain after my mom died

-wasting time

-hypocrisy

-multiple sexual relationships as a teenager

-failing miserably in my career

-being a poor example of a man to my children

-not investing enough into my marriage

-failings as a father

-addiction to porn

-failure to lead my family as a Godly man 

-cheating on my wife

-nearly destroying my marriage

These are some of the major areas I've failed in the past. I hate myself sometimes. I detest looking at myself in the mirror. 

I don't see myself the way God sees me. He sees me as a dearly loved child. I see myself as the most vile of offenders. The Bible talks about being a good steward of everything we've been given, including our very lives. 

I have failed across the board. 

These Words DO Help

And still there are words speaking to us through the ages-

Jesus says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28). That sounds much easier than it actually is sometimes. 

No matter what, even if your marriage has ended - and EVEN IF IT WAS YOUR FAULT - Jesus, the Healer, Redeemer, and Friend of Sinners still calls to you. He looks you in the eyes, accepting you right where you are.

He says to you, I love you so much that I was willing to give up my life on the cross to redeem and restore your broken life.

The Bible says that while we were considered enemies of God, He still sent Jesus to die on the cross in order to pay the price for our wrongs (Romans 5:8-10).

Sometimes we need to hear those words. I was so burdened as I sat down to type this post. At this moment the burden is a little lighter.

Watch this Matthew West video with the song, Mended. I pray it will encourage you.

The Reason This Blog Exists

I Have a Motive Here

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing...Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away...And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

                               1 Corinthians 13:1-13

Some of the points I'm trying to make with my story are to give hope, to encourage, to strengthen, and to point people in the direction of God's restorative truth. 

I've shared quite a bit of our painful journey so far. I've connected with many people who have expressed their thankfulness to know that someone else has gone through similar things and experienced healing and redemption in their marriage. 

I've made personal phone calls to various readers, connecting them with Christian marriage counselors. 

I've written many emails to readers who were thankful that I took the time to speak with them and to pray for them.

While I do want your marriage to heal, and for you to see the power of forgiveness, it would be useless if I did so without love.

I'm not telling you this in a boastful way. I'm telling you in order to make a point.

Everything my wife and I have done with this blog and with all of the connections we've made in order to support and to encourage, would be meaningless if we did not have love.

The underlying purpose behind everything we do here is because we love you.

I want you to hear and to absorb that right now. I love you. My wife loves you. We don't know you, but we understand and feel the heartache you've experienced. We don't want you to walk this journey alone. 

The Journey Continues for Those Without Restoration

Someone recently commented on one of my posts and reminded me of a sobering truth. Although God's grace is sufficient for us, His power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). 

My blog examines our humanity, in that we are extremely weak and vulnerable. The partner who has been betrayed, feels crushed, weak, and completely shattered on the inside. 

The partner who has done the betrayal is also weak. They felt worthless before the infidelity ever began. They followed fleeting feelings in order to patch over deep holes and wounds on the inside. Some of those wounds span all the way back to their childhood. 

The point is, both parties involved are weak for different reasons. 

When a spouse chooses forgiveness, it isn't that they have some kind of superhuman strength. What they are displaying is the amazing grace given to humanity through the unimaginable compassion of Christ Jesus. That gift was given to us before we were even aware of it. That grace is sufficient to redeem us into a beautiful relationship with our Heavenly Father.

The person's comment that I mentioned above, talked about what happens when the relationship isn't restored. They put the reminder out there that even though my wife and I have been restored, not every relationship will end up with the same results. While that is true, I do not want to focus on that option for more than a brief moment. My goal and purpose is to point out the best possibilities. I want to give you hope! Not false hope, but genuine hope that forgiveness and restoration are possible through Christ Jesus.

I'm not painting a pretty picture with my relationship. I'm giving you a snapshot of what my wife and I have been through, and what we still face as we continue forward. There is hope for any situation. Remember, I said and did terrible things. In addition to cheating on her, I told my wife that I hated her, that I never loved her, and I filed for divorce. Even though those words were untrue, I did not believe that my heart could ever change or soften. If you've been a skeptic of miracles in today's world, just take a look at my heart. I am living proof that miracles do happen. 

That being said, the comment on my post reminded those who end up facing divorce, that in spite of the heart-wrenching pain, they should still continue to seek God. As 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, "His power is made perfect in our weakness." I agree fully. If you have sought forgiveness (or sought to forgive), prayed for your spouse, and done everything in your power to save your marriage, but your relationship is not restored, continue to pursue God. Even though your spouse might have abandoned the marriage, God has not abandoned you at all.

Remember, God says,

"...'never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.' So we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?'" (Hebrews 13:5-6)

Keepin' It Real

This is Why I Post

So many of you are at different stages of your journey.
Some of you are suspicious that your spouse might be cheating.
Some of you have evidence and you are trying to figure out how to confront your spouse.
Some of you have already faced the unthinkable and have confronted or been confessed to.
Some of you are panicked, worried, and desperate to find answers.
Some of you have chosen to separate and possibly divorce, simply because you couldn't imagine any alternative.
Some of you have chosen to try and make it work.
Some of you have chosen absolute forgiveness and are striving to pursue restoration.

Regardless of where you are in your journey, my wife and I made the decision to share our story to encourage you, pray for you, stand beside you, and to give you our perspective through our journey.

Many times you'll hear about ideas, plans, strategies and 'helpful' tips from marriage counselors, speakers, authors, and others. But it seems so far removed from reality. Yeah, that sounds nice and all...but does it actually work? I've never met anyone real who's gone through that. Sounds like something out of a textbook, thought up by a bunch of 'professionals' who don't have a clue about reality.

Well, here we are. Two real people. We've got kids. We've got jobs. We've been married for over 2 decades. I cheated several times. I filed for divorce. My wife forgave me. I didn't believe I could change. My family continued to pray for me. 2 years later, we are completely in love with each other. My heart was totally changed. Our marriage is unshakeable.

We share our story because we know firsthand that God can heal, change, and fully restore. When we encounter His grace and redemption, He makes a completely new creation out of us (2 Corinthians 5:17).


Our journey isn't a cakewalk. We have bumps, bruises, and difficulties along the way. I try to share some of those difficulties so that you can see the reality of the journey.

Recent Difficulty

Here's something that happened just this week. We were on an escalator in an upscale outdoor shopping center. I saw someone that I thought I recognized and so I looked at her for a moment. My wife is extremely sensitive about where my eyes focus. She made a comment about how my gaze followed this particular person, who happened to be thin and blonde.

Right away I understood how it looked. I did try to explain myself- that I thought I recognized the person - someone I hadn't seen in almost 10 years. It didn't matter. The fact is, I was looking at another woman for several seconds. That impacted my wife.

Our 10-year-old son asked me, "Why did mom say something about you looking at other women?" I told him that because of the hurtful things I've done in the past, she's extra sensitive. I said, "You know I don't check out other women." He nodded his head approvingly. I took great affirmation in his agreement. He is also ultra-sensitive. He was deeply affected by the divorce papers.

People always say, children are resilient. That just isn't true. Children are fragile. Their entire world stands on the foundation their parents create for them within the walls of their home. That is one reason our culture has completely crumbled into hatred, selfishness, entitlement, rage, and every other destructive condition you see displayed in the news. Without Godly men leading their families in prayer, and submission to God's Word (the Bible), there is no hope for positive change outside of the home.

Sorry - I went off on a tangent for a moment. Probably better to save that for another post.

As I was saying, children are NOT resilient. They are deeply troubled and wounded when their parents hurt each other with their words, actions, and separation. God's design was for both parents to function as one (Genesis 2:24; Mark 10:8). One team. One purpose. One love. One vision. One life together. One family. One in submission to God and to each other.

Two years after the fact, I still see our children exhibit signs of trepidation. Thankfully, they are slowly gaining confidence and trust.

What I've Got to do

I am not tempted to check out other women. I will not allow myself to fall into that typical male pattern anymore. Regardless, I am now reminded of how much more carefully I've got to walk through life. My job is to love and protect my wife. I damaged her self worth, trust, and confidence in the past. If I now have to avoid looking at a person I think I might know, then so be it. Which is worth more - trying to figure out if I recognize someone, or protecting my wife at all costs?

I'm voting for the latter. I may have violated my marriage vows in the past, but I will uphold them at all costs from now until the day I die.

Vulnerability is Key

Infidelity is Painful

Thank you Captain Obvious for that heading. The pain experienced not only by the one who is betrayed, but also by the one who has cheated is probably one of the worst kinds of pain a human being can endure. Yes, the one who cheats also experiences pain, shame, guilt, self-loathing and many other secondary negative emotions. If you haven't read the post, "Raw Words From My Wife," from the perspective of one who has been cheated on, I'd encourage you to take a look at the way she's expressed herself.

The Results Leave Us Captive

When a person makes the conscious decision to let their thoughts wander, "If this marriage doesn't work out..." it causes a tiny and almost unnoticeable callous to form on their heart. From there, they begin to fantasize, "If I were married to that person instead..." Their eyes wander, and the construction of small protective stones begins to build up around their heart. The likelihood of an affair is much more possible at this point. Sometimes people can even enter into a marital relationship with stones covering and protecting their hearts from prior hurts. Vulnerability with their spouse isn't even possible anymore because they have sealed it away behind thick, cold layers.

The Bible has wisdom to prevent such things.

I have made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman - Job 31:1

If we made covenants with our eyes not to lust, the 'if this marriage doesn't work out factor' would not enter into the equation.

Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart - 2 Timothy 2:22

If we truly fled from youthful lusts and desires, while pursuing righteousness, an affair would not happen - even within one's mind or thought life.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord - Ephesians 5:22

If wives submitted themselves fully to their husbands, they wouldn't give in when someone else offers attention or affirmation that might be lacking in their marital relationship.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her - Ephesians 5:25

If husbands sacrificially loved their wives in the same way that Christ Jesus loved the church, they would not allow their minds to even entertain the thought of having sex with another woman. They would never go out of their way to make another woman the object of their desire.

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church - Ephesians 5:28-29

It's so easy for someone to hear words of wisdom, recognize the truth of those words, and still not apply that wisdom to their own life.

I was captive by a calloused heart. In my deepest heart of hearts, beneath all of the protective layers, I never wanted to be a cheater. I never wanted to be the kind of person who caused another person to experience heart-piercing pain.

Dealing With Vulnerability 

After all was said and done: I confessed, I filed for divorce, my wife continued to pray, my wife chose forgiveness, I ended up recanting the divorce papers, and of course there was still the issue of vulnerability.

In the beginning of our journey to restoration, I was unable to recognize my lack of vulnerability. I was unable to recognize my hidden and protected heart. I was unable to make conscious steps towards full vulnerability.

Through prayer and willful decisions to open myself up to the possibility of being hurt (and that's the major reason for a lack of vulnerability - the desire to protect oneself from being hurt), my heart began to emerge. The calloused layers peeled back.

Where We're At Now

I love my wife with all of my heart! I understand that there is risk when you truly and fully love someone. I understand that I've opened myself up to the potential for deep pain. But this is where trust comes in. I trust my wife not to hurt me. I have made a choice to trust her fully. She has never done anything to violate that trust, but the hurts from my past made that decision difficult.

My wife wants to fully trust me. My wife wants to be fully vulnerable with me. Over the past two years, she has come a long way in that regard. This decision feels dangerous for her, in terms of what my past actions have taught her.

We are moving towards full trust and vulnerability. One day at a time.

Frustrating Fault of Mine

I Feel Like My Hands Are Tied

Something you ought to know about me - I don't have a great filter when I'm talking to people. I have a habit of just blurting out whatever comes to my mind. 

Think before you speak. I remember my parents repeating those words quite a few times in my childhood.

It's not that I purposefully try to make situations awkward, or that I have the intention of hurting my beautiful wife. It's just that my care-free impulsiveness takes the reins more often than not. Some of that impulsiveness probably contributed to my promiscuity and infidelity, in addition to all of the "Shapes from the Past" that hadn't been dealt with.

Scripture comes to mind, "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak..." (James 1:19 NIV). 

What does that have to do with this blog?

Well, there are several things I want to just blurt out on these virtual pages. 

Thinking before I speak quickly translates to thinking before I type something as well. Sometimes I'll get inspired to talk about something that happened in our marriage that I want to share with all of you. I'll type it out & publish it, only to find out that my wife wasn't 100% comfortable with the information. She acknowledges that we will reveal our names, photos, and other personal details to help connect with our readers eventually. However, for now, she's not ready. I'm not going to push her. I will remain patient. 

My intention with sharing details? I want you to see a real person. I want you to be able to connect to something concrete; real life, real struggles, genuine hope, honest-to-goodness verifiable heart transformation, a beautifully restored marriage, the truth of Jesus lived out in someone's home. 

I don't know how easy that is for you. My wife and I don't have pictures of us on this blog. We don't publish our names. I have only hinted at the large metropolitan area we live near. It's still a bit vague. But when I talk about specific health issues, or how many kids we have, or that she's pregnant right now, it narrows possibilities down a bit. That makes her uncomfortable.

My goal is not to make my wife uncomfortable. Remember my post, "Rebuilding Trust?" If I truly want my wife to feel safe, I have to consider all aspects of the trust she wants to have for me again. That includes topics and details that I put here on this blog.

Good Generic Information

So, for now, I will do my best to continue publishing relevant information while not compromising my wife's trust. Wouldn't that be a kind of double-standard: My desire to help inspire others and to send a message of hope at the expense of my wife? I can't do that. 

More Detailed Information

What has helped you so far? What is it about this blog or our story that you've connected with? What stage are you at in your relationship? Have you recently discovered your spouse has cheated? Are you only suspicious right now? Was it years ago? Are you on the brink of divorce? Have you kept it a secret? Are you working on restoration? Drop us a line. We'd love to connect with you & to pray for your marriage.

A Weekend to Remember

I Encourage You to Attend!

Check out these great resources!!

My wife and I are at the Family Life Weekend to Remember in Irvine. I had to share some of these resources with you.

This first one has several options: A Oneness Prayer Challenge by texting ONENESS to 33733, Something to FOOLPROOF YOUR ANNIVERSARY by texting CELEBRATE to 33733, and other resources by texting FAMILYLIFE to 33733.

The speaker said at the close of the first session, "Some of you came here with divorce papers in hand. I only ask one thing of you...please come back for tomorrow's session." Two years ago, I had divorce papers in hand. No, we didn't attend a marriage conference, but we did make a complete turnaround by the grace of God. I want to encourage you to click on the Weekend to Remember link above and sign up for a conference. They have conferences scheduled all over the U.S. I am not affiliated in any way with Family Life. I have absolutely zero incentive to share their events or endorsed books with you. I am simply sharing these things with you because my wife and I love you. We are praying for you. We are praying for the restoration of your marriage. It is possible! But you need as much support as possible. 

  

As we walked through the resource area, I came across these books. They aren't clickable links. They're only pictures of the front covers (sorry, I'm not super tech savvy). I know that some of you are on the verge of divorce. Please take a look at Before the Last Resort before you sign the dotted line.

Also, nearly every time I've been contacted by a wife who has a cheating husband, I recommend the book, Every Heart Restored. Now I'd also add to the list, Torn Asunder and Choosing Forgiveness.

I want to thank all of you who have been praying for my wife as she endures cirrhosis and this unexpected pregnancy at the same time. Thankfully we've now entered into the Second Trimester! Yay!! Please continue to pray for my wife's healing, as well as the healthy development of our sixth child. Once we find out if it's a boy or girl, I'll share that info here.

Blessings to all of you!