If you are currently considering, thinking, fantasizing, or even curious about having an affair, I want to forewarn you that the best is not yet to come.
The best part of an affair begins with a lie.
That lie is smaller than a microscopic seed planted deeply in your mind.
That lie is the temptation that tells you, "This is what you need." "This is what you deserve." "This will give you the satisfaction you so deeply desire." "This will validate you as a person." "This will fulfill you." "This will feel good." "This will end your pain." "This is the solution."
Those are some of the lies I chose to believe.
There are many other things your temptation might say, but the point is - it's all lies.
Is anything wrong with temptation in and of itself? No. Jesus Himself endured temptation (Heb 4:15, Matt 4:1-11). It becomes wrong once we entertain the thought (Jas 1:15, Matt 5:28).
That decisive moment - the moment we entertain the thought, is honestly the best feeling in the entire ordeal. I'm not saying the feeling is good, noble, true, wonderful, or blissful in the honorable sense of the meaning. I'm saying that by looking at the arc of feelings and emotions tied to infidelity (or any sin for that matter), the best possible feeling happens in that moment of decision. From there, everything goes downhill.
You continue to tell yourself more lies to try and make yourself believe it's going to be wonderful. In reality, you're simply piling burden upon burden...creating an unbearable weight on your own shoulders.
C.S. Lewis alluded to the popular (and yet ludicrous idea), "...that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is...A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in."
Our culture in America teaches us to continually give in. "If it feels good, do it." That phrase has misguided people time and time again. What are we being sheltered from by giving in Mr. Lewis?
Ah yes - we are being sheltered from the Truth. Because if we walk "sheltered" by constantly "giving in," we bring about destruction not only to ourselves, but to those around us as well.
If we walk in the Truth, blessings are sure to follow.
Jesus said if we know the Truth, we would be free (John 8:32). He also said that His burden is light and easy (Matt 11:29), and He offered it to us in place of our self-destructive burdens.
If you are considering an affair, please believe me when I tell you that nothing good will come of it - only pain, heartache, and destruction.
Seek Godly counsel from a trusted pastor or friend. Most pastors are male, but when seeking this kind of counsel, do your best to seek out a member of the same gender as you.