I Believe...I believe in the power of inner transformation. I was driving an immovable wedge through the heart of my family. I was the conduit of destruction in my home. I allowed sin to penetrate deep into my heart and mind, which clouded my judgment, my contentment and my desire to follow God's will in my life. Romans 8:5-7 says, Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires...The mind governed by the flesh is death...[and] is hostile to God; it does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so (NIV).
I was opposed to anything remotely associated with God; church, prayer, resisting temptation, reading the Bible...
If you've read other entries on my blog, you will be somewhat familiar with my journey. It didn't happen overnight, but the transformation of my heart and mind did eventually take place.
Here we are, nearly 5 years after the worst moment in our marriage and I am so deeply in love with my wife. This is the same woman that I believed I would never love like I was supposed to. This is the same woman I said terrible things to. This is the same woman I chose to file divorce papers against.
If this is the first entry you've read here, these words summarize our journey:
SIN PAIN LUST ADULTERY ANGUISH STRIFE TEARS REGRET GRACE FORGIVENESS MATURITY RESTORATION JOY PEACE
Our journey is not over. But without the underlying power of Jesus, we would not have made it this far.
What is this power you speak of?
The Bible says, if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you. Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation - but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live. For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. (Romans 8:11-14).
You see, there are two powers at work in the world. There is the power of God/Jesus/The Holy Spirit and there is the power of satan/sin/death. You have the choice to follow and obey either one, but there is no middle ground. You must choose one or the other.
I was living according to my flesh. I was following the path of self-worship, idolatry, lust, greed, self-destruction and death. I took a turn for destruction when I ignored God's plan for my life. Some people ask, "How could God allow this to happen?" Because we all have free will. We all have the option to choose between right or wrong, life or death, sinful or holy decisions. God's plan is to redeem and to restore.
You might be in the midst of the storm right now. You might be on the brink of making that heart-wrenching discovery that your spouse is cheating. As horrid as it feels right now in your situation, please take heart. There is hope. Our story is a living testament to that.
In the same way the prophet Zechariah spoke these words to Zerubbabel, governor in a province of Judah, they are applicable in your situation as well, Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the LORD Almighty (Zechariah 4:6). We cannot stand alone in our own strength to face terrible situations, but by the power of God we can.