Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Is This More Than We Can Bear?






We have been through so much.

If you've read many of our posts, you know that my wife and I truly love each other.

In fact, it might seem like we are in a place that you and your spouse could only dream of being. I've repented (which means I've turned completely away from my sin/wrong choices). My wife has forgiven me. We have been working for nearly 2 full years on restoring our marriage and molding it into the Biblical framework for marriage. We have passionately sought after Christ Jesus as our Lord.

So, you read a post every once in a while...or maybe you've only been here a couple of times and skipped around, trying to find something that sounds similar to your situation. You find glimmers of hope. You find inspiration to keep on praying and fighting for your marriage, in spite of the popular culture's opinions. And in your mind, you might even picture us as an ideal couple now. You might think or assume that our lives don't have hangups or anything tragic anymore.

Well, I'm going to tell you about what we're currently struggling with and praying for.

My wife has Hepatitis B. Yes, usually it is thought to be a sexually transmitted disease. However, we were married rather young, and she was a virgin when we met. She has been completely faithful since the day we first entered into a relationship with each other. This was a case of "bad things happening to good people." My wife was a straight-A student. She wasn't a troublemaker as a kid. This was something that most people would say shouldn't have happened to her. We first learned about it 22 years ago when she tested positive for Hepatitis while going through prenatal care for our first son.

Hepatitis B affects the liver. Sometimes cirrhosis (basically a degeneration of the liver) is the result of hepatitis. My wife has developed cirrhosis. She has scarring on her liver. We don't know what the full extent of the damage looks like, but we are consulting with her primary care physician, as well as a liver specialist. 

Last night, we learned that she is pregnant.

Normally this would be a time for us to celebrate. We have 5 boys. We love our children. This could be our baby girl that we've hoped for.




BUT...my wife was just prescribed a new medication to hopefully eliminate the Hepatitis B. You probably know that medications and pregnancies don't mix well. Our concern is that every day she waits to start the medication, her liver could be getting worse.

We don't know anything more at this point. The future is completely uncertain. But isn't that the case with all of us? How many of us can say for certain that we'll wake up in the morning? Isn't each new day a blessing in and of itself?

At this point, we are trusting completely in God. Honestly, it's not fair that my beautiful, faithful, loving wife had a husband who cheated on her. It's not fair that a good girl, with so much to offer the world, would contract a disease usually reserved for those who are sexually promiscuous. She's followed the right path. This is an excellent example or evidence that there is no such thing as karma.

We know that God is sovereign. We are doing everything within our power to learn about and fight the disease. 

Here is our plan of attack (spiritually speaking):

1. Pray. "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans" (Romans 8:26). I've prayed, and I don't know what else to pray for. I know that according to the Bible, the Holy Spirit will intercede on my behalf. The point is, I'm being obedient. I'm seeking God.

2. Trust. "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:5-6).

3. Ask. We are asking that you lift us in prayer. Please pray for our family. Pray for my wife. Pray for our relationship. Pray for our unborn baby. Pray for healing. We have been praying for you, even though we've never met. We would be so thankful and sincerely appreciative that you would pray for us as well.

In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears. - Psalm 18:6

9 comments:

  1. Ive read all your blog posts..i bless yahweh he led me here.my husband has cheated multiple times in the past and he has been asking for my foegiveness ,as a christian im trying to work through it but it hard..we got married in november 2014.he started cheating three months after ..if i type my story i will take up today..pls keep posting your journey..salute to your beautiful beyond outstanding wife.i caught him masturbating a week ago..I feel broken.Only the grace of God is my strength.God bless you and your family.

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  2. Hello i lift you and your wife to God,he will perfect her healing and keep the baby in jesus name.congratulations to you both..This is great news

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  3. Thank you for your prayers, and for your kind words. The very first thing I would suggest is that you get a copy and read "Every Heart Restored." Here is a link to their site:
    http://www.fredstoeker.com/book/everyheartresotred.shtml

    I am not affiliated in any way with that site, but that book has helped many women in your situation. Please have patience with your husband. If he's asking for forgiveness, he does want to change. The cycle of sexual addiction is incredibly difficult to break, but it is possible.

    Do you both attend a good bible-based church?

    I would highly recommend Celebrate Recovery for your husband (and for you as well to support him).
    http://www.celebraterecovery.com

    We will pray for you and your marriage.

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  4. Hi there, just saw your page, and read about your wife:( may I suggest that she take milk thistle pills from a good source that you can find in a health food store?? I've seen people heal their livers from stage 4 cancer of the liver and really a very good herb to take while pregnant, I have liver issues also and it helps a huge amount!! Blessings to you guys and may God be with you!!����

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    1. Thank you Julia for your kind words and good suggestion!
      Blessings to you

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  5. Thanks for sharing your story. I'm also a blogger and have a post that I believe could be an encouragement to you and your wife. I heard through the rumor mill of a friend that had cheated on his wife but has managed to stay married. I wrote it for them and anyone else. http://www.jenagrisez.com/?p=242

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    1. Jena, Thank you for sharing your post.
      I recently officiated the wedding of our oldest son. A pastor friend of mine suggested that the words of the ceremony speak to, challenge, and encourage the attendees. It is helpful for married couples to attend weddings to be reminded of the value of a covenant vs. a mere contract.

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    2. Is there a way to private message you and your wife? I have some things I'd like to share, but don't want to do it publicly.

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