Tuesday, May 26, 2015


People enjoy watching the cheater get what is coming to them. It is poetic justice. We all feel good, and amused. This takes strength, courage, and an iron will to shame another human for the error of their ways.

Look what is celebrated in social media (warning: explicit language). The following link to Distractify, lists images of vengeful retaliation against cheaters: http://distractify.com/alex-scola/cheaters-never-prosper/

Only the brave follow this course of action. The weak ones cower back into a corner of darkness...or do they?
My wife and I are presently talking to/encouraging/praying for/mentoring a married couple who is struggling with the concept of forgiveness vs. the popular choice - divorce after infidelity.

Interesting that it is the offender/cheater in that situation who is fighting and wrestling with the idea of whether or not to separate/divorce. This is partially spurned by the questions: What will my friends think of me? How will others view me? What are the opinions of those around me? My situation was the same - I wrestled with the idea of staying together vs. divorcing. Thank God that my mind and heart were softened and I decided to fight for my marriage.

There is some kind of social stigma associated with staying in a particular situation after you've boldly announced your plans to the contrary. There is a fear that others will view you as weak because you have changed your mind.

Consider what weakness is. Weakness implies helplessness and a lack of strength. Other people's opinions are only that, opinions. Their thoughts on the matter, remain as important as the color of a woman's lipstick on any given day. It might look good for a few moments. It might even compliment an item of clothing that she's wearing. However, at the end of the day, it will be removed and forgotten about. The woman is still who she was before the lipstick was ever applied. She will remain who she is, long after the lipstick has been removed. So it is with opinions. The person who bears the weight of another person's opinion will remain the same person long after the opinion has faded.

Once we learn to stand with integrity, in the face of opposition, and fight for what is truly right, regardless of flailing and ever-changing opinions, we have done something noble.

Which of these seems like it takes less strength:

1. Walking away and throwing in the towel because a challenge or obstacle has been placed in your path.

2. Digging in your heels, bracing yourself, pressing forward into the face of the storm in order to fight for something you believe in.

Which option would a wimp choose? Which option would a warrior choose? How many champions in history acted bravely, or nobly by walking away when difficulties stared them in the face?

Which option seems like an act of bravery:

1. Saving face at all costs.

2. Standing for what is right, regardless of opinions that attempt to sway your decision.

If you are standing for the truth expressed in God's Word (the Bible), remember this: 
"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me [Jesus]. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you." (Matt 5:11-12)

I've heard the phrase, "Choose your battles." I know that a marriage is something worth fighting for.


  1. Great read. I think it takes a strong person to stay and stand tall through all the looks, opinions and judgment from others. That goes for the one who cheated and the one who was cheated on. People will always have an opinion on what you "should do", but unless they are living in your skin they will never fully understand your choices whether you stay together or divorce.

  2. Thank you Jennifer. What you've said is true, but even on top of that - way after the fact - you will stand as a role model for others - a beacon of hope.